Today was my second wedding anniversary. This is both our second marriages and the day we started dating we knew it would be a lifetime. It just felt better. Our honeymoon was supposed to be a week in Italy, but due to circumstances we had to stay local. Our wedding weekend was spent at the ritzy Peabody Hotel in Memphis one night and a fancy Bed & Breakfast our second night with a half day chocolate making class at the Viking Cooking School in between. Our gift to each other were bracelets. I gave her a diamond bracelet and she gave me polished stainless one. I lost mine.
Last year we had talked about going to Italy again but her daughter (my step-daughter) has a hard time with a babysitter for a few hours let alone her mommy being away for a week. Instead, we stayed in an Antabellum Home B&B in historic Columbus, MS complete with the staff and hosts in period dress and an antique breakfast china layout. Nice. I gave her jewelry. It was the year of paper and she gave me a post card and a map.
Looked at Italy again this year but we got a smokin’ good deal on Disney later this Summer. Instead of going away for the weekend, we went to Bari Ristorante where we had our first date four years ago. Pricey, but authentic Italian fine dining cuisine. I got her more jewelry and chocolate. She gave me another bracelet. I still have it.
April 6 was on a Friday two years ago and we were married in the evening. Today is Monday so technically our anniversary wasn’t until 6:30 PM tonight, so when my wife woke up this morning and said, “Happy anniversary darling” as she slung a card half way across the room and dinged me in the noggin while I wasn’t looking, it hadn’t truly been two years yet. I could have slung it back, but I still had mine to give to her so I tactically waited for the opportune time. Half an hour later I gave her a card with Mickey Mouse on it saying, “I still do…” and some chocolate. My bracelet fell off. (I gave her a more romantic card Saturday at our date)
As much as I would like to boast about all my wisdom and experience, I’ve learned more from her in the two years since we married than I ever could on my own.
1. I am fully responsible for all things.
It’s easier this way. I find that trying to justify or use reasoning why something is not my fault is futile. By accepting defeat, I can get on with the task at hand and avoid hearing myself squabble incoherently trying to convince her otherwise. It helps her feel better that she’s really in charge. Yep.
2. I can fix anything but her.
I’m pretty handy. Got that from my dad. I keep the cars running and can handle most repair jobs in the garage. I can do plumbing, household wiring, landscaping, paint trim molding without masking tape, and even hang a picture level. She often comments, “You’re pretty handy.” However, when she’s had a bad day, or I see her struggling with something, it’s best to back away slowly. The very second I suggest or even hint I may have a solution, there’s a deep red laser infrared piercing beam of light that omits from her eyes. If I’m not careful my eyebrow hairs will get singed.
3. Keep several stashes of chocolate readily available.
This is number three, but can clearly be at the top of the list. Dark chocolate. I think I spoiled her when we were dating because I’d bring her Milky Way Midnight bars occasionally. That chocolate making class at the Viking school sealed my fate, too. I put this number three because having strategically placed stashes of good quality dark chocolate can fend off #1 and quickly resolve #2. We have a chocolate “cabinet” in which my sole responsibility is to ensure it is properly stocked with choices. We work together at the same company and I keep a stash at my desk for when she calls and says, “I quit!” I can quickly come to her rescue. I’ve learned the only letter in the alphabet I need to remember is the letter “G.” Ghiradelli and Godiva. Can’t go wrong.
4. Honey Do lists are not an option.
My wife has an analytical mind where I am more of a visual and kinesthetic person. She loves spreadsheets. I go to sleep if I look at one too long and go into a deep zombie-like state. She started making lists before we were even married. I have a list for inside stuff, a list for outside stuff, and a list for general stuff. She carries them with her on her thumb drive. I hate lists. I must admit without them I would be totally lost and useless, and it’s a wonder I survived this long without her or them. As much as I try to ignore them or pretend they’re not as big, they are always there. Always. They’re growing on me. I did write a “5 things” list for this post.
5. Not all women are dogs.
My wife and I make fun all the time that I’m the dog and she’s the cat. See, dogs need constant attention. They need to be petted and shown affection frequently. Ever start petting a dog and it just won’t go away? That’s me. A cat doesn’t need attention. It just goes about its way from one place to another and if it wants attention you have to ask it permission. My wife is a cat. She doesn’t need a lot of attention. She does remind me on occasion that my pampering skills are lacking, though. Kind of like a cat that lives in your house for days and then all of a sudden it starts purring and won’t leave you alone. That’s OK…gives me more time to work on my lists.
Two years down and looking forward to all the ones yet to come. Mabye one of those years we will be able to celebrate in Italy.